A cool sigh…
December 22, 2005. Last year I wrote on my blog these words:
"Will we be happy when we get all that we want in our life?
When we reach our dreams and aspirations?
When we become filthy rich?
Look around you, stop for a while. Look at how you’ve grown, look at how you’ve matured. Look at what you have and not what you dont have. Breath… take a deep breath, take a time to reflect.
If you’re expecting for me to answer the questions above, you’re wrong. I can’t… Its a pondering that will haunt the tabulas archives for years to come.
Stop. Look around. Reflect. What do you have? Give thanks…
Merry Christmas everybody." - December 22, 2004
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My few short words were confused. They were words without a beginning and end. Words hanging on something as stable as the wind. They were words by which I have learned alot from.
As I look at what I have right now, it is still the same as before. I still have the same cell phone, the same pairs of shoes, the same number of jackets, I still dont have a car. If I am gonna count what I dont have, it will not be funny anymore.
As I look at what I have right now, I realize it is not what I have, what I own or what I have surrounded myself with thats importand. I realize, for me to be happy I need to get that "I" out of my sentences on happines.
Happiness for me is seeing my sister have fun playing with her brothers and our mom. Fun for me is hearing a voicemail about my mom about a certain good news which made her so happy I couldnt even remember the last time she was this happy. For me it’s knowing that my parents are approving of what I am doing, that I know I did not let them down. Happiness for me is being able to tell my brothers, my sister, my parents and my friends "If you need anything, just tell me…" and actually know that you didnt mean that to be polite.
I have Madsy, I have her and she has me. That for me makes me smile even before I think about it. That makes me feel so light inside and strong in my arms that I think I can do whatever I want… But then again, why should I ask for something more when I have more than what I deserve?
This christmas I can reflect and look anyone in the eye and say that this year was nothing but a blessing. I know that we can make this year a foundation for a stronger and more fruitfull future.
I wanna slow down and makes sure all my steps are sure steps. Things are different now. Bigger opportunities means bigger things to weigh which means more to risk.
One day at a time with one strong and sure step after the other. Happiness is an assurance that things are in the right place, at the right time earned the right way without asking for more than what is needed.
