When life doesnt seem to be adding up… Blame math.

Sad part of being in a long distance relationship is having to say good bye every night. It’s like an additional poke on an already bruised arm. It can’t be helped though. Not being able to see your girlfriend for months just hurts. It really hurts alot. But hear this… I am not complaining. I shouldnt be still in this relationship if I was. That you just read is an admition of reality. That love is real. That happiness is real. It is as real as pain, as real as sacrifice.

You don’t work out to get the great chest, abs and arms and not expect to feel pain right? You don’t expect to be a good runner without feeling like passing out the first few runs around the oval.

Love, the one that is for keeps, the one that is the one is worth all the pain, the sacrifice, worth all the ups and downs just becuase it is. That’s it. It cannot be justified by an act. It cannot be reasoned out by words. It cant even be made into sense by our beautiful mind. Mushy as this may sound (fuck off if you think it’s gay…) is that Love, the one and true can only be understood by your heart. So, stop thinking about it and enjoy the feeling.

Whenever I speak to Mads on the phone we get carried away with our conversations. One of the downsides of being in a long distance relationship, although technology has made it easier, is that talking can be costly. Every service has a dollar amount attatched to it. Guess what, that’s another reality so deal with it. The sad part of talking on the phone is trying to say goodbye.

Setting up for the goodbye is painful. Specially when you dont want to. Trying to segway to that "O pano na?…" is like driving screws through your own head. It’s very hard. I really don’t like it, but you can’t be on the phone the whole time. Counting down to a goodbye doesnt help either. Telling her "O five minutes nalang ha…"… Damn, don’t say that. It’s alot of trouble. Moods change, the atmosphere turns darker. The feeling becomes uneasy and guess what, the conversation just got extended becuase you are now fighting.

Fighting, arguing, misunderstanding ain’t bad in a long distance relationship, heck! in any type of relationship for that matter. Your hands don’t turn into the tough and strong ones just beacuse youre born with it. The strong capable hands had seen its days of blood, gashes and calouses.

Pain, is but a single (x) in the polynomial of life.

Why am I ranting? I dont know. Maybe coz I guess I just want to say: I cant wait to be with her. I cant wait to actually have a conversation with her and not say goodbye anymore. I cant wait to start talking to her and actually see her eyes. To see her react and respond to what Im saying would be heaven.

I love you Madsko. I miss you so much… I can’t wait to be with you once and for all.

Fast Fact… out of the almost 19 months or almost 590 days of being jab and mads, we’ve only spent 11 days of being together… right there together. Make sense of that…