Norah Jones and San Mig Lite
Saturday, September 29th, 2007Here’s a Blog entry// Jab sept. 26, 2007:
Im into the third song of Norah Jones on my Ipod. Im doing some end of day administrative work for my team. I just had a sudden rush of nostalgia flow into me. A smile and a tear creeped in… regress.
I remembered the feeling of playing Norah Jones at the cafe/bar that I always go to in UPLB. Remember that? I had ended up working at that place as a bartender and the music spinner after school hours. I’d rush there to work "pro bono" (free beer) after theatre rehearsals and org meetings.
I remember Norah Jones billowing through the place after a busy day in UPLB. I remember seeing common faces… hearing common chit chat… I remember the cold beer flowing into me and filling me up good. Those were nights of my early twenties.
I remember my friends. My life back then. Something deep inside me wants to go back and live that life again. That life fifteen pounds ago. haha
I’d come in wearing my board shorts… a plain white T… sandals. Those were the days I can just breath deeply at the end of the day and "sigh"… Life. Nowadays I find myseld holding my breath for the day coming. It’s as if Im preparing for something I dont want to get into. There is no feeling of "done"-ness for the day. A rat race I think is what they call it. Can’t it be that the end of the day feels like the end of THE day and not a short pause for tomorrow? Quarter life crisis? I dont know…
When can we be situated in a "life"? Well, maybe Im speaking for myself. maybe you’ve got a pattern that you find solace in…. security. I have… the pause before the leap. The dawn before sunrise. It’s inadequate. It’s… an unfulfilling feeling. Empty… filling up with something unknown.
My hand shakes when I stop moving. And I have not had coffee in days. Agitated? The past few days I’ve been taking my mountain bike for a 15 mile runs around our area by the stream and creek… I think I find more comfort and relaxation at doing that than being on my bed at night.
Is this the feeling of getting old? Or is this just me feeling all alone and away from the life that I should be leading?
