In about twenty-two hours I will be on a Philippine Airlines flight to Manila. The only stop would be a quick re-fuel somewhere in the Pacific. Im crossing the mighty ocean to see my Girlfriend.

Ten months ago we parted with a kiss at 4am May, 22 in an intersection in Pasig City. She rode her taxi and I went on mine. The last time I saw her was when my ride took a left, hers took a right, she was looking at me, her eyes on mine her hand on the window of the cab. Not a second later I realized that I was letting go of the best thing that my life has ever been accorded.

In less than forty eight hours I will be asking that same girl to marry me. I will kneel in front of her, offer her a ring and ask her to be my bride, my wife, the mother of my spawn, my bestfriend, partner in crime, my confidant, my lover.

The past ten months have been rough. It has been really hard for me and her. Of all the people in the world, we were given each other. We were even given a relationship that will not just test time but also patience, faith and trust. Ten months later, look at me and her… Happy, contented, hopefull and thankfull.

She has taught me patience, and that life is to be taken a day at a time. She has taught me wisdom and tackling the most mundane to the most outrageous of problems. She has kept me calm and collected through the most roughest of times. She has kept me dreaming and taught me that it only begins there, that the real test is making it come true. She has taught me the powers of prayers, that faith is not of whats to come but has has already been given.

Will I miss the gimicks? The boys night out? Will I miss the "good ol’ days"? I might. Well, I will. But, it’s nice keeping them that way. Keeping them as memories to look back on, as lessons learned, scars earned and laughter shared. Now that we have each other, we’ve got more of those things coming our way and the best part of it is that, well, we have each other.

I will be the first to admit that I was never a model boyfriend. I could have been everybody’s best friend, but I guess thats where it all started. To be everybody’s bestfriend is to be nobody’s boyfriend. I had targets all over myself for people to pick on.

I love my friends, and I trust they love me to. I will choose my Girlfriend over them, trusting that they will choose to stand by their loved one first than by me. I will ask them to be happy for me and support me as I will them.

I love her for one, because she saw through me. Through the bull that people say about me. For sticking it through.

I love her for staying even though at times her presence was not acknowledged.

I love her for her willingness to sacrifice everything even if she already has nothing left.

I love her for telling me "shhh…no more sorries, it’s ok…"

I love her for always remembering all the big things and alot of the little things in the past years we’ve known each other. For every new memory made, she has one for that past for us to talk and laugh about.

I love her for her faith in the Lord. I lover her so much for that.

I love her coz… I love her.

I love you Mads… I love you so much mahal ko.

I WILL see you in a little bit.

December 22, 2005. Last year I wrote on my blog these words:

"Will we be happy when we get all that we want in our life?

When we reach our dreams and aspirations?

When we become filthy rich?

Look around you, stop for a while. Look at how you’ve grown, look at how you’ve matured. Look at what you have and not what you dont have. Breath… take a deep breath, take a time to reflect.

If you’re expecting for me to answer the questions above, you’re wrong. I can’t… Its a pondering that will haunt the tabulas archives for years to come.

Stop. Look around. Reflect. What do you have? Give thanks…

Merry Christmas everybody." - December 22, 2004

———————————————->

My few short words were confused. They were words without a beginning and end. Words hanging on something as stable as the wind. They were words by which I have learned alot from.

As I look at what I have right now, it is still the same as before. I still have the same cell phone, the same pairs of shoes, the same number of jackets, I still dont have a car. If I am gonna count what I dont have, it will not be funny anymore.

As I look at what I have right now, I realize it is not what I have, what I own or what I have surrounded myself with thats importand. I realize, for me to be happy I need to get that "I" out of my sentences on happines.

Happiness for me is seeing my sister have fun playing with her brothers and our mom. Fun for me is hearing a voicemail about my mom about a certain good news which made her so happy I couldnt even remember the last time she was this happy. For me it’s knowing that my parents are approving of what I am doing, that I know I did not let them down. Happiness for me is being able to tell my brothers, my sister, my parents and my friends "If you need anything, just tell me…" and actually know that you didnt mean that to be polite.

I have Madsy, I have her and she has me. That for me makes me smile even before I think about it. That makes me feel so light inside and strong in my arms that I think I can do whatever I want… But then again, why should I ask for something more when I have more than what I deserve?

This christmas I can reflect and look anyone in the eye and say that this year was nothing but a blessing. I know that we can make this year a foundation for a stronger and more fruitfull future.

I wanna slow down and makes sure all my steps are sure steps. Things are different now. Bigger opportunities means bigger things to weigh which means more to risk.

One day at a time with one strong and sure step after the other. Happiness is an assurance that things are in the right place, at the right time earned the right way without asking for more than what is needed.

Yeah I know, My blog aint that cool. It’s sooo mushy… Thats what they told me. So what? Im in love…

Mads and I both agree that up to now we cannot believe that we are now, here, celebrating our 6 months together (technically we are together becuase we love each other and are in a committed relationship, to generalize everything although we are 8,000 miles apart).

We find ourselves crying sometimes when cases of paranoia, misunderstanding and miscommunitation between us. Sometimes misread each others feelings (either, email, text or chat) but when we hear each others voice we already know how each other is feeling.  We both agree that this is part of it. We both agree that bumps on the road makes us realize that no journey is perfect.

We just celebreated our 6th month as a couple (officially). We are very much expecting the best out of the next six months and more to come. It is surprising that we only find ourselves fraustrated with little things and not the totality of being apart from each other. Even with the tears every night and everytime in between that, we know that what we have right now is part of the path to where we both have always wanted to be.

Together.

Last night, after a hard nights work at the coffee shop, I dropped by the kickboxing gym I would normally go to. My friends who owns it asked me to have some drinks. During the little soiree, I talked to Mahiar. Mahiar is a corporate boss for e-telecare. He supercedes the Philippine call centers and one in Arizona. In one of our previous conversations, I have expressed that I wanted his job. He goes to the Philippines thrice a year on business trips. (now you know why?)

Last night, while discussing some matters in terms of the industry, he asked me quickly

"You miss her?" Of course I said yes.

Then he asked me, "when will you have some free time?"

I looked at him with my expression asking why?

He then gave me the best good news I’ve ever heard so far.

"I’ll give you my PAL frequent flier miles so you can visit her when you have time…"

Shock and awe.

He then went on to tell me that I should work to get to management position with my current job and that he will give me a job that pays $75,000/yr and that I will be based in the states travelling to the Philippines alot to report to him. He also gave me the option of moving to Arizona should I want to join the company.

Now, tell me that was not a blessing? What have I done to deserve a Girlfriend who loves me so much, to be given all these opporunities?

Someone told me before, you will not be given what you cant handle. This might mean that this is not luck. This is a reason for me to in a position better than what I have right now.

I love this life. I am most happy now. I am aware that there will be more problems to come, but teamed up with my Madsy, I know I will go through it. This journey might be a long one, but it is worth it. Worth it really.

Thank you Father God for sll of these… I owe you big time. I will pay you back.

Mads, I love you. I love you so much…

The nice thing abut driving in Batangas is that the roads are oober nice. The asphalt hugs the tires of the cars and there is barely a sound the reverburates with the car. You can actually hear the engine humm instead of hearing the buzzing cement running under you.

The Batangas outback provides scenic views of dozens of mountains. One awesome view was that of Mt. Maculot. Famed for it’s rockies (the mountain’s shoulder with a rock formation to the delight of adventurers and thrill seekers)Mt. Maculot musters all respect being in the middle of the Batangas province. For a hundred kilometers around, this relativeley easy mountain to climb offers a sight for sore eyes. The rock face that rivals El Capitan in Yosamite in the States is like melted icing off of the face of a green cake.

Not to be outdone is Mt. Makiling. It’s stature requires respect and reverence. Mt. Nasugbu and a host of other mountains on the western seaboard of Batangas provides breathtaking backdrops for those on the side of the road shots. Another odd looking piece of nature is Mt. Batulao. It’s jagged peaks makes it unique. Note to those who wanna climb it. It’s easy.

Back to the road.

One thing that pisses me off sometimes are tricycles. Tricycles and National Highways can never mix. When driving behind a tricycle, the tricycle always seems to drive with a speed thats irritatingly slow which makes you want to overtake it naturally. But, once you engage on overtake mode, the tricycle always seems to speed up. Whatsup Manong? And the size. The size of the tricycle is just right for it to occupy 2/3s of the lane. Two friggin thirds of the road. Not enough for you to squeeze by it. What makes it worse? They come in packs. Just when you thought you just passed one and your ready to have the wind blow through your hair and have tha MTV moment on the road, another one is right in front of you.

Arriving in Nasugbu, the group wanted to see Punta Fuego. Well, Punta Fuego was crossed out of the list becuase it’s expensive. And going there is only for the the v6’s and v8 engines of them rich people. I stopped at a local tindahan and asked the most reliable people I could see. A group of 5 men without T-shirts drinking bilogs and lapads at 10am in the morning. Being the omnipotent all kowing lasenggeros that they are, the pointed me to a place where it is not too expensive and is in the vicinity. A place they called, "Kay Enrile" (the senator that has plotting coup de etets as a hobby).

We payed 50 pesos to get in and 400 for a hut for the whole day. Not bad for a beach near punta fuego. The water was clear, although not as prestine as Zambales or Bohol, and the cove protected the swimmers from too much waves. (sorry wahines) At the end of the cove is what seemed to be a hill made up of limestone. With our rappelling equipment in hand, camera’s and guts, we walked towards the end of the cove. There, we did a crash course in rappelling. It was enjoyed by the BAdgers and the Photos members. Tapos we walked along the side of the huge rock hill to discover a hidden area with small quiet caves and hideaways - hard to describe.

After the bout with the heat, we all settled down to eat what was left of our provisions. Like good brothers and sisters, we shared the loaves of bread with peanut butter, one glass, ice and coke. Tapos, since there was a difficulty in getting fresh water, we went in the car without ligo. Hehe tapos starbucks tagaytay!

Then, home…

We did find a beach that we could only have imagined. We saw landscape that we didnt think existed. But, above all of that, we as friends enjoyed the journey. Up till the end, the destination didnt really matter. We sang together, awwed together, joked and picked on each other, we didnt mind if showering was the last thing on each others minds, we didnt mind sharing one drinking glass, we didnt mind eating peanut butter sandwich.

The roadtrip was the best ever for us - the group. If we had more or less people, could we have enjoyed it? If we had more money or a better car, would it have been more fun? We will never know.

Journey to an unknown place, discover, realize - do it with friends you love and enjoy spending time with. It’s a short life -

Up next? Lucban, Quezon - the Pahiyas Festival…

Disclaimer - This trip was unplanned and not motivated by another entity - it was though, music to our souls.

May 01 (sunday) - Woke up early in the morning to be able to catch the Mechanics who will close by lunch time. Last night, JC (the 94 Honda Civic I borrowed from my cuzin) broke down. I checked the date of the battery and figured, it’s past its waranty so it’s about time to buy a new one. So, I did. Apparently, that wasn’t the problem.

Without showering, I woke Leo up to go with me to get the car fixed. We finally found someone who would fix the problem and after some phonecalls, we proceeded to have it fixed. Who knows, the problem might not be as serious as it may seem.

It wasn’t. But in that span of 24 hours, I spent around 1,600 + 1,500=X.

When we got back to apartment. We realized it was too freaking hot to live in that hell hole for the next 2 day holiday - so, without much hesitation, we packed out bags with food, water and clothes to go off on an adventure.

Destination: Unknown

Cuplrits: Jab (driver), Townee(lone gurl na boy na yata), Kadyo(the ectomorphic percussionist), Nigel (newlybald), Jack (the dismissed), Leo (the one who likes butts) and Edward (the silent bitch). You counted right, seven people.

With Camera’s loaded and more rolls to spare, with a fund for gas and a little for food, we headed to the - well, where the road lead us.

We gassed up in calamba and procured a map from the shop. We figured everyone from Los Banos will be headed to Laiya, and according to sources, Laiya is packed and there’s no way for it to be cheap. It won’t accomodate seven pennyless kids packed in a civic.

As percieved, the road trip was musiced (past tense of music used as a verb) by E-heads, the Circus album. Then, we had Dave Matthews ( a favorite of everyone in the car, to my delight of course), Keanne and a host of other road trippable songs.

It was late in the afternoon, we were past Batangas City and realized we need the precious sunlight to capture good photos. After a quick grubmunch in a carinderia on the side of the road, we drove to the next interesting town: Brgy. Balisong in the Bayan of Taal. The road had stalls and stalls selling Balisong and knives, a specialty of the province. And, lo and behold, our first beautiful place, the Church of Taal. Took pictures, prayed and played with the kids.

Then, we all realized we were feeling icky so we needed water - To the beach! We had several destinations - Nasugbu, Lian, Calatagan and Calaca.  We wanted to catch the sunset.

So after beach hopping, asking for rates, judging if the places we checked out were safe for us to camp out on, we finally found a place. It was an abandoned rest house with the least most inviting beach front. It was hell - haunted. Fun! The caretaker wanted 700 for the hole (this aint a typo) night, I haggled it down to 400. We cooked dinner, talked, took pictures, shared stories and slept. Upon waking up early in the morning, we felt what teenagers feel the most in the morning (next to being sexually thirsty and wanting more sleep) - Hunger.

We drove to Balayan Batangas and within 5 minutes of discussion, we found ourselves sharing Jolibee meals like brothers and sisters letting each and everyone taste each others food.

Next stop, to look for the best beach that is affordable and not too Posh. (that just crossed Lago de Oro and Punta Fuego off of our list). Drove off. Got ready -  and wahoo!

TBC. (to be continued)

Note to self (put up photos).

PS - The car is in very good condition, we have become so attatched to JC we make sure she is feeling better than us. Great car - memorable - and now we are eight.

Now that everybody knows Jab is off the market for good, here’s one tip that most often if not, always works when someone wants to land a girl in a social setting either just for a coversation, a commitment or well, you have an imagination right? (Dearest Mads - I Love you - this is the creative writer side of your Baby…)

The Lone Ranger had Tonto, Batman had Robin. Ellen DeGeneres had Anne Heche, until she became an alien, a heterozexual, and a complete friggin lunatic, in that order. You will also need a wingman - somebudy who will talk to your target girls less attractive friend.

>>> GET YOURSELF A WINGMAN

It will always bring a tear to my eye th remember the scene in Top Gun where Maverick, under attack by enemy Migs and hearing his RIO’s please to "Get the hell out of there Mav," refuses to leave his formation, stating: "I am not going to leave my wingman." The lump in your throat wont come from the compassion, but from the memory of all those times that your wingman ended up making out with some mediocre looking, attention getter-not girl so you can make out with her cute sexy friend.

Your wingman must have the same dedication as you. If there’s a possibility that he’s going to get spooked by some girl with an extra twenty pounds on her, you’re going home broke, along and bitter. Be sure to pick your wingman like the way you pick your girlfriend, he will probably lead you to get you as much lovin’ as a girlfriend would.

You should be careful when choosing a wingman. After all, you are inviting another male in the search for females. You want to make sure that you have more pogi points than him. Here are some tips:

a. He should never be better looking than you are - can you imagine how that might backfire on you?
b. He must be different than you - your girl has a reason for wanting to be with you. Maybe your funny, smart, rich or have tatoos. Whatever it is, she’s obviously attracted to it to wich means your wingman shouldnt have it. It’s a risk not worth taking.
c. He should be willing to jump on the grenade and take one for the team - and that means all the way. You will need someone to distract your target friends bestfriend, keep her busy while you make your move and get your groove on. Again, he must be able to go all the way.
d. He should have superior beer goggles (good eyesight no matter what) - at the end of the night, most girls will begin to look like jessica alba, so even when your too drunk, pissed, buzzed or walwal, your wingman should still be able to discern the cute ones from the not.
e. He needs to be supportive - You win some you lose some. You dont want a wingman to laugh at you when you lose some.
f. He needs to be responsible - Trouble os always around the corner when hunting for chicks. Your wingman should be able to babysit with you if you get into a fight with your target chicks boyfriend or the bouncer (in that order).
g. When you’re with him you get the cake, the prize the prize - You can disregard everything thats mentioned above as long as your wingman helps you bring back the bacon. Supportive? Responsible? Gay? Straight? Who really gives a shit, as long as you end up with your target girl, the woman of your dreams, your angel, your bad girl, your, well you get the point.

You’re an ENTP

ENTP

Ok. Ready? You like to chase the novel and complex. You have faith in your ability to overcome any challenges you face…highly independent…value adaptability and innovation…you encourage and value change…

You need freedom for action…you resist hierarchy and structure…you push against all odds to further your projects with your entrepreneurial tendencies…you can argue and find the flaws in any position…

How’m I doing so far? You rarely accept things just as they are…you like to test new meanings and relationships..when you don’t get what you want, you use your cleverness and ingenuity to bring people around to your point of view…when you choose a career, you tend to set flexible goals that allow you to incorporate new information and accommodate to new circumstances…

"Keep your options open" is your middle name… you like to explore the "road not taken." Your flexibility can look like indecision to others who don’t have a clue about you..you take advantage of opportunities…you realize potential of many things because of your ability to see connections and relationships between SEEMINGLY unrelated things…you cannot be ordered around, but rather handle things best when they are *suggestions*….like posting more on the Storm Palace BBS you love excitement…

Competence is key to you.. you don’t take advice or respect someone you don’t see as competent…you want work to be enjoyable..you’re a relentless learner. Knowledge is important to you…you use your enthusiasm to get others involved in your learning…you learn through give-and-take discussions and by questioning and challenging others….you like challenging your teachers and colleagues…limitations are mere challenges to you…you take initiative, and once the ball is rolling, you like to turn it over to someone else…

You like to organize logically and strategically….your work space might not LOOK organized, but underneath it all is a system that works for you. You like to have an impact…you need a job that allows you to be innovative. you like to take risks and explore…an open calendar for the weekend is really appealing…you’re often "in on the latest things…"…you like travel, ’cause it allows you to open up new vistas and horizons (corny, huh?).

Falling in love happens when there’s a good "fit" with another person…you often know after the first meeting whether there’s any "real potential"… you may not like to commit until that right person comes along…therefore you probably won’t settle down early…you don’t like to lose at ANYthing you undertake…you’re a born enterpriser…

Things to be on guard for: you have a great fear of looking dumb or incomp- etent..you may tend to think you have the perfect solutions for problems, and may become competitive when others challenge you… you might start to think that you’re the only one who’s in on the truth of things, so you might not like to listen to the input of others…you may have the tendency to overextend yourself as you jump in on lots of ideas without considering how long it takes to work ‘em through… commit to too many projects? …you are a rebel.. you find it difficult to accept standard operating procedures.. and hate HAVING to follow exact rules or policies…learn to work within the system.

ENTP: "Each New Thought Propels"

My first encounter with Rappelling was when I was in 4th year high school for CAT training. It was the day before our field trip. I rememebr it was with y classmates in High School… from the 3rd floor of our school building using a marine terrypropelene rope and, strappings for harness and a coupld of 8 rings and carabiners.

The next time I experienced it was with the Badgers - after that - I was hooked.

Rappeling is not a sport, as some might categorize it due to the nature of the activity and the phyiscal shape required of those who want to try it. Rappelling is a skill, a highly technical skill that requires physical, mental and psychological stability. Background checks are done to those who would like to try rappelling (this is as far as the UP Badgers are concerned). Rigorous training in the scientific, technical and theoretical aspect is done before one goes over a ledge, down a tree or on the side of a building. Rules like:getting ample sleep, no alcohol ion the past 24 hours, no emotional stress to affect the mental aspect of the rappeler, follow instructions to the letter.

People underestimate rappelling, even those who have tried it before sometimes find themselves more scared on their second try than they are on their first. Rappelling does bring the man, or woman out of someone. I have seen seasoned Mountaineers backing out of a rappell, leaving with the excuse “madulas sapatos ko…”

For the past 3 years, I have trained the members of the Badgers in all the aspects of rappelling that I can ever imagine possible given the equipment and opportunities given to us. All the members of the Badgers whom I have trained, all are not afraid to try it again. The way I see it, thay actually look forward and enjoy rappelling.

I’ve rappelled off of buildings, cliffs, bridges, balconies, roofs and ceilings of large buildings (I’ve yet to try it off of a helicopter). It is freaking scary as it is exciting. to date, I must have rappelled almost 500 times thats a total of around 100 hours of rappelling experience. I think those are still small numbers.

Respecting this skill, and the elements that surround it is the key to a successful jump (going over). Respecting gravity and your equipment means you know how your equipment was stored, maintained and used and how gravity affects everything may be the difference to life and death. Following the instructions being given to you and following them precisely is the smartest thing for anyone who wants to try this out.

One big rule in Rappelling is “No Macho effects…” Like other skills, people tend to start showing off when they know they are good. Examples are Basketball players, talented musicians etc. etc.. In this skill, showing-off will not gather you fans, it may lead to your death or injury.

I have to admit, Im still afraid of heights. I cannot lean over a mall balcony to look down - even if it’s just 4 stories. It gives me the jitters. Fear is always a factor. I made rappelling instructors out of people who cried during their first jump. And it is all becuase they learned to control and repsect their FEAR.
Fear of heights is natural, the feeling of freefalling to your doom would scare any SANE person.
My fear of heights always lead me to respecting it. Making sure all stops are made, all checks are double checked and tripled if possible. There is no room for mistakes, no quarter for excuses.

Rappelling requires Discipline and Respect. It requires guts and determination. It is no joke. Anyone can rappel. But not everyone can enjoy it~

and yet another blog…

blog here, blog there, blogs everywhere!

My day has been a bore - it being a friday, I have not lost hope.

Tomorrow will be the start of my 7-day countdown before I start smelling the thick polluted air of Metro Manila… hmmmm home - -

My surreal 6 week stay will be filled with friends giving birth, nights of booz and studying algebra, planning for beach outings, climbing mountains, getting stuck in an uninhabitted island, weddings, reunions and graduation parties.

Damn Im bored.
This life is boring.
Im dead serious.
Working here, doing my job - this is boring. See what Im doing?! making a new blog - It cant be more boring than this.
Wiat - your reading this, that means your as lame as I am.
Maybe you’re as bored as I am.
Why are you wasting time reading my blog?
Why am I wasting time making it?

a few questions.

Is there time to regret when you die. I mean, instantly when you die. As that truck screeches; metal to metal impact…crash! Your car, the trucks front end in fusion… Is there time for you to regret?

-regret not telling your friends how special each and everyone of them are to you?
-regret not showing how much you love your family?
-regret not doing well or better in school/work?
-regret not joining that friend for a drink one night, the next day you found out he committed suicide?
-regret not going to La Union with your friend when she asked you to go surfing? When all you really wanted to do is to learn to surf?
-regret not telling your crush that you had a crush on her?
-regret not saying enough sweet nothings to the one you love?

is there time to regret for those who are dying in a span of a second or 2 if he is lucky?
Afterlife? who knows - who knows if we will regret when we’re in the afterlilfe - where life is better -

there’s no time for regret for the dying - there is a lifetime of regretting for the living though.

There is a lifetime to say what you wanted to say, do what you wanted to do and feel what you wanted yourself and others to feel while you are still walking amongst them. Let it not be a lifetime of “what if’s,”"I should have…”

Will you regret not being honest to me and telling me that you were mad at me when…
Will you regret not telling me that secret that could have changed my life?
Will you regret not telling me how you really felt when I asked you how your doing?
Will you regret not knowing me more when you really did not have anything better to do?

If I die today? Will you regret those?

THe dead dont regret, the living do…

shiyet - did I make any sense?

Do you regret wasting your time reading my blog?

Well?

I’ll see you next time when you have more time to waste -